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Graduate Studies...
This page requires some serious congitatin' so patience please. In the meantime I think I'll
give you these to chew on.
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Future
Future just arrived the other day.
It always seemed to be so far away.
Plenty of time, we thought,
to change our way
But Future just arrived the other day.
What happened to the two we used to be?
We never seemed to get it, you and me.
The power struggle
lingered far too long with us, you see
The Future has arrived, and we were wrong.
I fell in love with what I thought you were.
The person that you said you wished to be.
I never
learned the secrets that you guard so zealously,
And now the Future's here and you're alone.
You looked to me to always make things right.
I tried, none knew the tears I shed at night.
I've
just relived the past in reading things I used to write.
Future's here, it didn't wait, the pain lives on.
Future just arrived the other day.
It always seemed to be so far away.
Plenty of time, we thought,
to change our way.
But Future just arrived the other day.
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The Rest of the Story
Love knocked on your door twenty years ago and more.
The knock was hesitant and timid from a hand
that didn't trust itself anymore. You straightened up your house of cards
to make the best
impression.
You talked and shared your dreams,
portrayed a person starving for love.
And when Love hesitated yet
again
for lack of confidence, you said......
"Trust me."
You said you'd never known love before.
You held and cuddled and gained Love's trust
until all
barriers tumbled down.
Love gave you comfort, warmth, fun.
Love shared its broken dreams and wounded heart.
Love gave you passion far beyond your wildest dreams,
you said.
Love merged into your life and
left behind, children, friends, pets.
And then Love became an inconvenience,
an intrusion on the life you meant to lead.
The
comfort, warmth and fun no longer held appeal.
Your in the way Love! I want my isolation back,
your words and actions
said.
The old pain returned and Love began to sicken unto death.
But Love is not equipped with On/Off
switches.
So the sickness lingered on and Love retreated,
licking bloody wounds and planning strategies
for yet another
try, another way.
Until today.
'Cause now you've told another
"I never knew love before!"
Now you've sampled someone else's
body.
Now you've told Love,
"Hang around, this may not last!"
Expecting Love to suffer more and more.
"You're
a survivor, you'll be OK!" you say to Love.
Like that's supposed to make it seem alright.
The pain you just so casually dismiss,
has finally reached the Full mark,
and Love can see
no end and must resist.
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Reflections (this text is in red because it's so important!)
Divorce is not the be all end all that many people think it is. In going through my nth
divorce the past couple of years I've learned things I never wanted to know. Like how it's never really over! This
is the first time I've had to request alimony (old and sick body that I now have required that) and because
the judge allowed my ex to pay me directly each month it's torture! He may not intend that...nononono...time out...I will
not excuse him anymore. He DOES intend that, as a gesture of his power over me. I asked him to send a cashiers check
or bank money order since it takes time to clear a personal check and have the funds available for use. Nope. Did once, too
much bother to continue.
The judge also refused to address our debts. Some were in his name, some in my name, some in
both names but, all were marital debts. So in spite of the fact that he lives in Mexico where the cost of living is 50% less
than living in the U.S of A...I got stuck with some really biggies. Which I can't pay. So bankruptcy is looming it's ugly
head.
Before we marry that person we think is Ms or Mr Wonderful...we NEED to have
lots of heart to hearts about something other than china and silver. We're told that by everybody but, we
don't listen.
And so...there are those who marry out of fear. Fear of their own financial inadequacies, fear
of not having a date on Saturday nite and, fear of being alone. What do we care about the more grim aspects of our intended
when he/she provides us with a warm body to sleep next to every nite? Get a dog!
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